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Free_From_Kaos157
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Name: Gloria
Metro:
Birthday: 1/16/1990
Gender: Female
Interests: dancing. ballet. arts. photography. out of the ordinary stuff. sleeping. shopping. uniqueness. creativeness. food. eating. hello kitty. MUSIC. pigs...tinker bell. ^_^ CLIMBING TREES! *not tendonitis. taking pictures. drawing.
Expertise: i really dont have any.
dancing and climbing trees<3
singing and frolicking i suppose. =)
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
MSN: newlitdawn157@hotmail.com
AIM:  hewchinglovesyou
Member Since:
4/12/2005
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| I'm sooooo stressed from the pressure of my family, peers and myself.
I'm the worst of them all. My own pressure is like throwing bricks at my head 5 million times before quitting to get some more bricks to repeat the atrocity. I'm really tired of it and I have no one to really talk to about it.
Everyone says I'm smart, I could get into any college I wanted. I have good grades....
I can't even give my mom a break from the car insurance bill. I don't even qualify for being a good student!
I'm disappointed with myself and I'm throughly exhausted. I have to finish my Statistics and go off to Borders to buy another book and return one of the two copies of the seventh Harry Potter book. =[ Hew Ching | | |
| I can finally call it my own!
I have a coal colored 2005 Camry SE. =]
It's finally mine and my mom bought the a white 2007 Camry LE today. =\ It's gorgeous, but we're leasing it.... I still think we should have just purchased the car. =\
Anyhow...That's it! =]
Just impressed my parents got the courage to do it! =] -Hew Ching | | |
| My momma just found out a lot about me that she's never known before. We're kind of on non-speaking terms as of now. My house phone isn't working, yay. Sorry to all those I usually talk to on a daily basis. My mother wants me to end my social life. Stop talking to "unimportant" people, especially boys, and especially Steven. I know you're out there and you're reading this. Mommy wants me to quit all relations with everyone. And I plan to give her everything she asks for this summer and this coming year. No more unexpected stuff. It's not necessary. I have one last year with her, and I'm going to make it the best. I've dealt with more than I can handle in this little life span I've experienced. I've learned the hard way, now, I plan to make a difference. She still plans on getting me my car, and she plans on allowin gme to pay a small share of the insurance. It's not a bad deal. Father's working and I have much to finish up, especially my Online Economics homework. Anyways, I think I'm done shpealing. Though no one reads this anyways. Love is out there. =]
Don't look for it too soon.
-Hew Ching | | |
| Why do we have to part while the love is still there? Why do we have to suffer? Why do we have to cry when somebody bids goodbye? Why do beginnings have an end? Why do we have to meet only to lose in the end? There are questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed, promises left unfulfilled. In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go, feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was. At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone. Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why. And we must forget not because we have to but because we have to. In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in batallion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him. It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other. I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part. Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after." Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up. It's over. He's gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday. | | |
| Ok, so I haven't been on xanga in forever.
Today is a day I just need to rant:
I feel horrible and I can't stand myself.
I dont feel like anyone really understands anything I do or why I do it or...me at all.
My closest friends don't have any idea what I'm feeling because I wont let out.
I'm tired of lies, love, people in general....I'm tired of it all.
I never imagined life or high school this way. Perhaps it's just high
school and theres nothing to worry about out there. I really just want
to hide from the world and not be seen.
Left to myself so I cant be judged or critisized.
I don't want or need expectations.
I'm damaged thanks to them and I dont want anything to do with it.
Boys make me think suicidal thoughts and I just want to kill myself or them.
[Figure of speech of course.]
I'm just so TIRED of the life I've led and I just want to finally be at
peace somewhere....somewhere far away, where college, males,
popularity, rating number one....doesn't matter.
I'm sick of being the perfectionist that I am and having to live up to
my own expectations, let alone the family members that have never met
me, my parents or even my friends.
My eyes are tired from crying and I am fatigued from the exercise I keep doing in order to side track my mind.
I dont want to think about anything anymore and I cant do a thing about
it, because its my life and I am the only one who controls and lives
it.
Even pretzels are against me....1180 mg of sodium in the average size
vending machine snack. More salt than the ever person needs for an
entire day's worth.
I think I'm done. My thoughts arent entirely out, but I can't type
whatever else I want to say on here, since its a public site and I
would rather the world think I'm just an over-stressed out Asian
teenager--not a psychological impaired child.
To all who care: fair the well.
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